That is the very essence of the pink cloud or mountain top analogy that I take issue with today. Here are some truths. Since August the 3rd 1984, my last day of consuming alcohol or any mind altering drug (leaving room for nicotine and caffeine in the equation) I have never woken up from a black out with a pounding head wondering what I had done the previous night or stumbled to the window and looked out to see if my car was in the driveway or in front of the house. I have never sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands wishing I could just die. I have never entered into a suicide fantasy, a murder plot, or a prison escape, to fall asleep.
As well, there are a host of things that I have done in recovery that I had not experienced during my active use of alcohol. When in detox, I recollect sitting at a table playing spades with three other patients, and not drinking. I could not recollect ever doing that before. During the same treatment, we played volleyball, sober, and I could not ever remember doing that before. When I got out of treatment, I was told to stick with the winners, hang with sober people. I joined a recovery bowling league. I had never bowled before in my life. I bowled on the league every Saturday night for my first year of sobriety.