The Need to Sit and Wait

Cafe Trieste

Early on in sobriety, I was waiting on an important phone call.  Minutes turned into hours and the phone did not ring.  I was becoming more tense and anxious.  Then came the “aha” moment.  During my active drinking days, such a situation would have sent me straight to the bottle.  Or with food,  my mind would have been sedated and taken away from the phone call, perhaps I would have ended up reconciling away the importance of the phone call, leaving to go elsewhere, passing out, or a myriad of other possibilities.  Instead, those years ago a thought came into my head.  I need to just sit and wait.  Previously, I never just sat and waited for anything.  I had never been patient.  In fact, this phone call was reasonably small potatoes in the scheme of things.  I realized if I were to just sit and wait, or better yet, do something constructive, this could be an opportunity for growth.  The event could teach me how to wait and be patient, something I had and still have little experience in doing.  And here is where the aha comes in – if I do sit and wait without drinking, bingeing or practice some other addictive behavior, the next time I need to be patient and wait, the process will be easier.  I will grow from this experience.  I rank the simple “aha” I gained as part of being on a perpetual pink cloud.  That event can never be taken away from me.  Over the years, that need to wait for a simple phone call has been recollected in many forms as the opportunity for growth.

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