Humility was the topic at the AA meeting I attended last night. I am amazed at how too often my grandiosity can start running the show in my life. On the one hand, I completely recognize today that every aspect of my existence is the result of living in recovery. I am fully and completely aware that with the first drink, life as I know it today goes down the drain. However, if I am not properly acknowledged and compensated, by the standards set in my head, then I feel slighted. I am too often confronted with the feeling of righteous indignation.
But I am grateful today that I even consider the need for thinking about humility and grandiosity. During my active addiction, humility was never something I ever gave a thought to – because it was ALL about me and what everyone was doing to me, the poor victim. I appreciate in recovery that I have the opportunity to sit back, reflect, and assess living life on life’s terms. When so doing, humility and gratitude for the totality of my existence are the result.
I appreciate too that through time in recovery, I am better able to live life on life’s terms. My decisions are based more in gratitude and less in grandiosity and self-will run riot. I am eternally grateful that recovery is truly a process, not an event – progress, not perfection.