Last night a friend was over to the house and we talked some about addiction. They noted that they just did not do well with alcohol, that addiction was a familial issue. They decided they were just not going to drink. They also noted that they were not going to go to AA or Alanon because they had done that in their teenage years, did not like it, and found the folks to be very judgmental and rigid. I recognize this can be an issue in AA meetings. I don’t push people to AA if something else is working for them. I know that with 30 years of sobriety, I find that the “bleeding deacons” tend not to respond to whatever heresies I might throw out because, well, it has worked for me for 30 years! I also noted to my friend that since getting sober there were times when I did not attend an AA meeting for five years. These days I generally plan to attend one meeting per week, but I have not been to a meeting in about one month.
The night before I had a two-hour Skype with a friend and colleague who sometimes I see once a year, sometimes more regularly. We are planning for some projects that will bring us together a bit more for the next year.
About three years ago I got back together with my “best friend” from high school that I had not seen in over 35 years. We hit it off perfectly and we now see each other for an evening’s reflection about every six months or so, when we are in the same general area as we live some 8 hours drive apart.
This list goes on . . .
. . . I don’t take the inconsistency as a fickleness on my part toward relationships or recovery. I know that to deal with my addictions I must be in sync with a recovery path every day. Sometimes that synchronicity is through AA meetings, sometimes through talking with others, sometimes in writing this blog. I know that a blog will not keep me sober or abstinent anymore than an AA meeting will if I am not truly seeking a solution. I very well recollect many years ago sitting in an AA clubhouse or in the rooms of Nicotine Anonymous, savoring the effects of the drug would bring as soon as I could plan my escape from the meeting. What I enjoy is that over the years I have acquired a bunch of tools for recovery that work well in different situations. Which tool do I need today? A screwdriver? Hammer? Pen? Book? There are a bunch. But what I also know is that if the tool I have picked up is not working, I need to put it down and pick up another. I am grateful today for the ability to choose.