Time and Cancer

Sunday afternoon I was sitting on the back porch when Emma called to me and said a friend had dropped by with a gift.  I went inside and was presented with a copy of the Garden Log Book: A 5-Year Planner.  The contents include worksheets to plan and record 5 years worth of planting, chores, goals, projects, pests, harvesting and more for gardens.  The book is perfect and incorporates much more than notes I had begun in a Word document earlier this season.  I look forward to using the worksheets.

But . . . the “five year planner” got me to thinking.  I have stage 4 stomach cancer, and in fact, I was supposed to be dead over one year ago.  In that respect, planning for things five years down the road seems a bit overly ambitious.

But . . . then too, particularly since the first of the year I have been thinking more that, one day at a time, I will continue to wake up every morning, make my cup of tea, feed Grace, go through my morning rituals, and live my day with no end in sight.  I have noted before that gardening is such a life affirming activity, I cannot imagine dying while I still have crops in the ground that need to be tended and harvested – and given our near year-round growing season here in New Orleans, that mindset ensures life in perpetuity.

And . . . this year I increased the effort put into planning our gardens, expanding space and crops, and starting plants from seeds.  This year too I started twice the number of seeds for each plant type than I planned to grow, intending to give away the extras.  So now there are folks in my neighborhood and as far away as Memphis who have planted seedlings of tomatoes, tomatillos, cucumbers, and squash that started on our back porch.  And just yesterday a friend dropped off some plants for me as my basil seeds had not produced.  I feel totally enmeshed in growth and thoroughly enjoy engaging with others in the process.

If I reflect back over the last year, today some things I do more efficiently and some things a bit slower.  But today I feel more alive and living into my true self more than ever before.  I am leaning more into an understanding that none of us gets out of this thing alive, cancer or not.  There is no guarantee I will even get half-way through the five-year garden log book, but neither would anyone else who received the book.  I am grateful for the gift not just for the practical use of recording my garden activities but for providing me the opportunity to reflect on and live a more full life today.

I am truly blessed.

3 thoughts on “Time and Cancer

  1. Hi Bob,

    You know my sister-in-law was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, Stage 4a (versus 4c) and 18 months later she is cancer free after her chemo regimen. She was diagnosed the Fall after you saw Donnita and I. I am praying for the same results for you. I do believe attitude is 75% of the battle. She had an excellent outlook about it and still does. Keep living one day at a time as those days do add up to years. Hugs!

    Pam

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